Hi, Reader!

I'm coming to you today with a new newsletter. Would you look at that?

It’s been a while since I showed up in your inbox, and I’m sorry about that.

Do you want to know why that is? It's not because I've been too busy. No, it's because I've been letting perfectionism hold me back.

I thought at my ripe old age of 31, I’d be over this whole perfectionism thing.

But today I had an eye-opening conversation with my coach that’s helped me see how this shows up in my life and WHY it’s not as simple as taking action to deal with perfectionism.

Here are two takeaways I wanted to share with you:

1. The struggle to make the “right” choice

Perfectionism can show up because we think there’s a “right” way to do something.

In my work, I struggle with thinking I need to find the perfect topic and the perfect words to share. I want to have 100% clarity that I’m making the right decision.

But sometimes you just need to be 80% sure of something to be able to make a decision on it.

I remember a reader said to me once that they were struggling with having so many ideas and directions they could go in that they couldn't make a decision. They wanted to make the perfect choice.

There is no “perfect” choice.

There are instances where a single choice can change our lives for better or worse, but in our daily lives, we’re mostly making a bunch of small decisions that can be changed if needed.

When you make a decision to do something, anything that happens after it is simply feedback. Feedback to do that thing again, to never try it again, or to simply try it but in a different way.

Every decision is an opportunity to learn something about ourselves.

2. The emotions behind our choices

Now, perfectionism can hold us back because certain tasks remind us of negative feelings from the past.

Perfection is a way for our minds to protect our nervous system from pain.

Maybe you’re procrastinating on something because, at one point, you experienced a negative reaction when you did something similar.

For me, there’s always the fear in the back of my mind that someone’s going to criticize my work.

Though I’ve only received a few negative comments over the years, those comments have stuck with me.

My mind tells me they mean nothing, but my body tells me that they do indeed matter.

It feels like a punch to the gut to think back on how I felt when I received them. That physical sensation creeps up every time I try to create something.

So if perfectionism or procrastination is holding you back, there may be a deeper reason that you’re not taking action.

How to move forward: creating a safe container 🫶🏻

How do we deal with perfectionism and procrastination, especially if they’re related to negative emotions?

The best thing we can do is to create a safe container or environment for ourselves in which to take action.

A safe container involves:

1. cultivating a healthy mindset
2. feeling good in your body
3. connecting to your inner wisdom
4. acknowledging your emotions

The right mindset might involve affirmations, gratitude, or clearing your mind through journaling.

Feeling good in your body might mean creating a comfortable environment around you or grounding yourself through meditation.

Your inner wisdom might mean coming back to your values or asking what your future self needs in this moment.

Acknowledgment of your emotions can be as simple as reminding yourself that it's okay to feel the way that you're feeling. There is no right or wrong way to feel.

If you can create this environment for yourself before trying to take action, the resistance may start to ease up.

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I share all of this with you because I know I’m not the only one dealing with this, and I hope you know you’re not alone either.

Food for thought:

If you’ve been avoiding something, what might that avoidance be telling you? What fears are coming up?

How can you create a practice to safely handle those fears and move forward with the thing that’s been on your mind for so long?

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Thanks for reading. Let me know if this resonated with you!

🤍 Catherine