Why it's so hard to live in the moment
Hi, Reader!
Lately I've been thinking about how difficult it can be to truly live in the present moment.
I was trying to figure out why I (or others) find it hard to be in the moment we're living, rather than fretting about the future or ruminating on the past.
At first, the idea of perfectionism came to mind. Often when we're focusing on the future, we might be worrying that things won't live up to the expectations we have in our heads.
When we ruminate on the past, we might be wishing that things had turned out a different way. Maybe we think we should have done something differently, hence the perfectionism.
But then I thought about what gives me the most anxiety, and that's getting my blood drawn. I haven't had this done in years even though my doctor has recommended routine blood tests.
Why do I get anxious about them? It's not perfectionism because I'm not trying to accomplish anything. It's not even the needle or the blood, really.
What makes me anxious is the fear that I'll pass out.
I've collapsed on the bathroom floor at the doctor's office before. Any time I've had my blood drawn, I've felt lightheaded. It makes me lightheaded to even think about it, honestly.
But why is it so bad to feel lightheaded? If I'm already laying down because I know I might pass out, what's the worst that could happen? I'd be safe in that moment, surrounded by people who could help.
Here's the conclusion I've come to: I don't want to pass out because I'll feel like I'm not in control of my body. I can't fight the lightheaded feeling no matter how much I try to breathe through it or distract myself. Sometimes there is simply no stopping it.
And therein lies the problem: the feeling that I'm not in control.
When I'm worried about the future, it's because I'm not going to have any real control of how things work out.
When I'm ruminating on the past, it's because I felt like I wasn't in control of how things turned out.
Is the reason it's so hard to be present simply because we can't be in control of everything in our lives? If so, how do we let go of the need to be in control?
I wish I had the answer for you, but this realization alone has helped me recognize the times when I'm trying to control something. When I notice I'm doing this, I simply remind myself to come back to the present moment.
If you have any tips for letting go of control, I'd love to hear them.
Catherine
The Moment
by The Blissful Mind
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